{"id":2038,"date":"2022-03-06T20:38:52","date_gmt":"2022-03-06T19:38:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theofficialboard.com\/best-articles\/?p=2038"},"modified":"2022-04-06T18:56:59","modified_gmt":"2022-04-06T17:56:59","slug":"how-emotionally-intelligent-people-use-the-4-second-rule-to-become-exceptionally-persuasive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theofficialboard.com\/best-articles\/2022-02\/how-emotionally-intelligent-people-use-the-4-second-rule-to-become-exceptionally-persuasive\/","title":{"rendered":"How Emotionally Intelligent People Use the 4-Second Rule to Become Exceptionally Persuasive"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.inc.com\/bill-murphy-jr\/how-emotionally-intelligent-people-use-4-second-rule-to-become-exceptionally-persuasive.html\">Viewed in <em>Inc.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We have all likely heard about the so-called awkward pause\u2014that moment of silence that, no matter the substance, can tarnish a conversation. But how long exactly does the silence need to endure before becoming quantifiably awkward? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Awkward pause<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>We live an era where just about everything is assessed and measured, and so too has this question related to the length of the awkward pause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;A decade ago, Bill Murphy, Jr. writes in this <em>Inc.<\/em> article, Namkje Koudenburg of the psychology department at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands, convened 162 graduate students and divided them into two groups. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Four seconds<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>The first group watched a video with a woman making a controversial comment followed by other participants\u2019 reactions. The second group watched the same video with the same woman\u2019s controversial comment. But in this second group, there was a four-second pause between her comment and the other participants\u2019 reactions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Turns out that these four seconds of silence were all that was needed to dramatically increase negative reactions and emotions. Emotionally intelligent people, Murphy writes, \u201ccertainly understand that patience empowers, and there is in fact a statistical, temporal point where comfort gives way to discomfort,\u201d Murphy writes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How can four seconds ease or increase the discomfort?<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Those four seconds of silence are important to understand since they can be used either to ease or increase the discomfort those on the receiving end of a conversation may experience based on whether the pause is constrained within, or actually exceeds, the four second interval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Ease the discomfort<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>For the emotionally intelligent communicator seeking to ease discomfort, \u201cwhen a pause approaches the awkward threshold, they might have planned a way to break it, either with a substantive response, a humorous interjection, or just: \u2018Hmmm, let me think about that for a second\u2019,\u201d Murphy reports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Increase the pause<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>But the opposite also proves true\u2014and \u201csometimes awkwardness might be a tactical advantage.\u201d In these cases, Murphy writes, an emotionally intelligent communicator might \u201clet four seconds turn to five, then 10. Let the other side feel the need to interject, and then either repeat what they\u2019ve already said or else even start negotiating against themselves,\u201d he writes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Critical conversations<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>We are often told that \u201clife all comes down to a few moments.\u201d In critical conversations, this <em>Inc. <\/em>article demonstrates, those moments might actually be seconds. Four second, to be precise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Viewed in Inc. We have all likely heard about the so-called awkward pause\u2014that moment of silence that, no matter the substance, can tarnish a conversation. But how long exactly does the silence need to endure before becoming quantifiably awkward? Awkward pause We live an era where just about everything is assessed and measured, and so&#8230; <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theofficialboard.com\/best-articles\/2022-02\/how-emotionally-intelligent-people-use-the-4-second-rule-to-become-exceptionally-persuasive\/\">More<\/a><\/p>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.theofficialboard.com\/best-articles\/2022-02\/how-emotionally-intelligent-people-use-the-4-second-rule-to-become-exceptionally-persuasive\/\">Read more...<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1555,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[350],"tags":[257,165,354,358],"class_list":["post-2038","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2022-02","tag-emotional-intelligence","tag-inc","tag-pause","tag-silence"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How Emotionally Intelligent People Use the 4-Second Rule to Become Exceptionally Persuasive - The Official Board\u2019s Reads<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theofficialboard.com\/best-articles\/2022-02\/how-emotionally-intelligent-people-use-the-4-second-rule-to-become-exceptionally-persuasive\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Emotionally Intelligent People Use the 4-Second Rule to Become Exceptionally Persuasive - The Official Board\u2019s Reads\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Viewed in Inc. We have all likely heard about the so-called awkward pause\u2014that moment of silence that, no matter the substance, can tarnish a conversation. But how long exactly does the silence need to endure before becoming quantifiably awkward? Awkward pause We live an era where just about everything is assessed and measured, and so... 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